i accidentally said the phrase “penis friday” around my parents and i didn’t think much of it until today i wanted new underwear and i said “i’m tempted to get the cucumber-patterned ones” and my mom said “oh come on it’s not even penis friday”
[ID. Video of a woman recording an opera performance when her cat, fluffy and with bulging eyes, hops into frame. She stops singing and tries to push the cat slightly out of the way, but on her next cue the cat starts meowing before she can sing. The woman starts laughing as the cat continues meowing to the music, as though it was singing as well. End ID.]
More evidence that cats bond with us by mirroring us.
I’ve read accounts here on the Tumblr of a trans man whose cat lowered the pitch of their meow, after he started taking T. So I suspect this woman sings a lot around the house, and her cat is like: “That’s just how we do things in this clowder.”
ok. listen. it’s about your girlfriend. you know how we thought she was a crop-blighting witch and we were planning to stone her? so, here’s the thing. every stone we threw drew not blood but like, the black and fathomless rage of a race of titans that were once slain but could not die. and she like, rose from her hastily-shoveled roadside grave as their resubstantiated champion or something. yeah, we’re suffering the onslaught of her vengeance right now. yeah. I guess we inadvertently created that which we had so feared. yeahh. could you like, answer her texts and ask if she’ll stop sloughing our flesh with her baleful gaze every time she sees us. thx in advance
you’re simping. calves are stillborn in the fields, food rots on the plate, holy symbols for miles around are tarnished black, and you’re simping.
i hate when somebody posts some shit on here like “it’s gay as fuck for a man to eat breakfast” because then im like well shit now i gotta start eating breakfast or i won’t be gay anymore
